Learning to Say NO

I wrote this at 3:30 this morning, while holding my sick and fussy baby who has been waking up every hour for the 3rd night now. He’ll be fine, either teething or has a minor cold, but him waking up means I wake up with him, and sometimes it’s hard to go back to sleep.

I’m learning in this season of life that every yes I say to others is a no I say to my husband and children, and to my health sometimes.

To compensate for the stay-at-home-mom status, I find myself often overcommitted, stretched thin, and sometimes agreeing to serve or attend social events that I don’t have the energy or margin for, especially some last minute ones that seem “important”. My girls are in a dance company this year which means from now until next May I will be on double dance mom duty. I agreed to teaching Sunday School for the next 3 months, helping with room mom duty at school, volunteering at a gala coming up, and all the socials, birthday parties and moms night outs. I just got a new job too, teaching kids dance and yoga fitness for 2 hours a week, which is what I love to do and is not overwhelming, but in the beginning there are all these hours of trainings and preppings I need to get done. I find that there just isn’t enough hours in the day to do everything, and have energy for my family which matters to me the most.

Between all the church and school events, volunteer and dance meetings, swimming classes and moms night outs, I realize I HAVE to say no to establish healthy boundaries and let others know of my expectations. How else will I have margins in life for me, and to spend unrushed quality time with my kids?

I got my Masters last May. It wasn’t an easy journey but I did it! I told myself to have a season of rest after graduation, to focus on my family, reflection and self discovery, to truly enjoy this time I get to stay home and raise my children. Somehow my calendar filled up quickly again. It’s time to re-evaluate and prioritize God, my husband and children, and myself too, before saying another yes!

870 Replies to “Learning to Say NO”

  1. I really enjoyed visiting your website and reading your blog on “Learning to Say No” and “Childbirth”. It’s so hard balancing priorities with things you feel and want to do. “ No” is okay but so hard to say sometimes!

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